When you feel cute as fuck with your makeup all nice and your hair just right and ready to go and every. single. person. bails.
sketchmyselfskinny wanna play a game?
i want to play this game
I would gain so much weight playing this game and I wouldn’t even care
IVE FUCKING PLAYED THIS GAME AND LET ME TELL YOU WHAT
SO ME AND THREE OTHER FRIENDS PLAYED IT THINKING THAT OH HEY ITS JUST GONNA BE A WHOLE PEPPER INSIDE AND WE WOULDNT ACTUALLY HAVE TO EAT IT
BUT NOOOOOOOOHOHOHO HELL THEY TOOK PEPPERS THE SAME HOTNESS OF SATANS ASSCRACK AND INTEGRATED THEM INTO THE CHOCOLATE ITSELF LIKE SOME EVIL CONCOCTION OF FLAVORS AND MADE IT INTO THE DREADED BULLET YOU DONT WANT TO GET
THE PERSON WHO GOT IT WAS IN TEARS OVER THE HEAT WITHIN SECONDS AND HAD ONLY EATEN THE VERY TINY TIP OF IT
SO WHAT DO THE REST OF US DO, AS THE (QUESTIONABLY) SANE HUMANS WE ARE?
WE TRIED IT AS WELL
SO HERE WE HAVE A CAR FULL OF CRYING, PANTING TEENAGERS AND ONE DAD IN A CONFUSED PANIC, SO HE BROUGHT US ALL TO BEN AND JERRY’S AND WE ALL STUMBLE IN LIKE “GIVE US ICE CREAM NOW” AND THE PEOPLE AT THE COUNTER WERE SCARED AND CONFUSED TRYING TO ASK WHAT FUCKING FLAVOR WE WANTED AND THE DAD WAS SITTING THERE TRYING TO GET AN ANSWER AND SOME RANDOM KID WAS CRYING BECAUSE OF US AND IT WAS GENERALLY JUST A VERY SHITTY SITUATION
SO WE GOT OUR ICE CREAM AND FINALLY CALMED DOWN AFTER A WHILE ENOUGH TO TALK LIKE NORMAL HUMAN BEINGS
AND THEN WE MADE THE DAD TRY IT WHICH WAS A VERY FUCKING BAD IDEA AS HE WAS BROUGHT TO THE SAME STATE AND HAD TO GET ICE CREAM AS WELL
SO ALL IN ALL DONT PLAY THIS GAME UNLESS YOU EAT HOT THINGS LIKE MOTHERFUCKING CANDY OR YOU’LL REGRET IT
the rest of the bullets tasted quite swell and we enjoyed them later once our taste buds started working again bUT DONT PLAY THIS GAME OR AT LEAST DONT FUCKING TRY IT ONCE SOMEONE ELSE GETS THE DEATH BULLET
*doesn’t check bank account*
*pretends everything is fine*
*mobile blogs while sitting next to my computer*
wouldn’t it be frightening if you walked into a room and suddenly boss battle type music started playing out of nowhere
am I the protagonist or the boss
More like Game of No
Game of WhyAreYouDoingThisToMe
Game of YouKillEverythingILove
THIS IS MARRIAGE!!
Permission to be a bad ass. Nod.
He looks back at the guy like, “SEE THAT? SHE SAID YES. YOU’RE SO FUCKED.”
Like, guys. Sparta was so kick ASS sometimes when it came to women. Spartan women were given these small knives so that if their husbands came home and tried to hit them or assault them, they had a weapon within reach. That weapon was for CUTTING THEIR HUSBANDS’ FUCKING FACES so that when he went out in public everyone would know he was an asshole, abusing jerkface and they would publicly shame him.
I DID NOT KNOW THAT THAT IS GREAT
LET’S JUST TALK ABOUT SPARTAN WOMEN FOR A SECOND.
In Sparta, women could own land and were considered citizens. THAT IS A HUGE BIG FUCKING DEAL. Why? Because that was RARE AS FUCK and there are lots of places TODAY where women don’t even get that much.
Divorce was totally fine, and a woman could expect to keep her own wealth and get custody of the kids because paternal lineage wasn’t very important. And it didn’t make her a pariah! She could totally remarry, no big deal at all.
Spartan women participated in some fuckin’ badass sporting events, too. And because they were expected to be as physically fit as the Spartan menfolk (who all had to serve compulsory military duties, btw, and couldn’t marry until they finished them at thirty) they didn’t have time for lots of swishy dresses. So they wore notoriously short skirts. According to some accounts, their thighs were visible at all times. HOLY SHIT.
Also, In Sparta men only got their names on their graves if they died in battle. And women? Women only got their names on their graves if they died in childbirth. THE SPARTANS COMPARED CHILDBIRTH TO FUCKING BATTLE AND IT WAS VIEWED AS A GODDAMN BADASS AND HONORABLE WAY TO GO OUT.
FUCKING SPARTAN WOMEN. THIS DUDE HAD FUCKIN’ BETTER MAKE SURE SHE’S COOL WITH WHATEVER HE’S DOING, IF HE KNOWS WHAT’S FUCKIN’ GOOD FOR HIM.
^^ I throughly enjoyed the history lesson dashed with the colorful adjectives.
This. Is. Glorious!you would have thrived in a Spartan community
awh bb <33